Shoes to Fill
by Kendoka Girl
Summary: Commander Shepard reflects on her selection as CO SSV Normandy while engaging in some harmless flirtation with her marine squad leader. Just a short, two-part drabble.
1. Chapter 1

**W/N** - A short, two-part drabble about Anderson getting sacked as CO of the _Normandy_. I wanted to highlight the sense of military tradition that goes along with these kinds of things and put some light on the thoughts and feelings behind what happened. Also, I wanted to bring to life some small things that service people experience and worry about. Plus, there's a little bit of flirting that will lead up to the love interest line. It's heavy on the military terminology, but all is explained in the CODEX. I work very extensively with the Navy and we do kinda talk like that. Thank you so much, Jen, Thug, and Kaarlo. I write just for the fun of it, but it's wonderful to get feedback.

Other malarkey - In preparation for my Nidan exam. Fought a brawl with sensei to a 3-3 draw that included a number of Aikido and Jujitsu grappling techniques. Scored a magnificen _tsuki_ on sensei, popping him right in the throat with my shinai. He gave me a deep bow. "Mai'ta!" (you got me) He later disarmed me though with a type of Kokyunage. It was a masterful move.

**Shoes to Fill**

_**SSV Normandy – **_**Berthed at the Systems Alliance Docks – The Citadel**

**Commander Claire Shepard – Executive Officer, **_**SSV Normandy**_

She would never fill those shoes.

Sitting on a towel over her carpet, Commander Shepard looked down at her black, spit-shined shoes, seeing her own distorted reflection in the leather. She'd already spent a half hour on the floor of her small stateroom with a tin of Kiwi Polish and a cup of water, shining those bad boys to perfection. Yeah, she could have bought the Corfram shoes with that fake shine or had the ship's Yeoman do it – rank did have its privileges in the fleet. But the Corframs never felt right. They were like wearing wooden clogs to her. And, this ceremony was far too important to not do this small thing herself. Only a true REMF or other ersatz leader would hand her shoes off to some poor crewman to shine.

So, it had to be done by hand. Shepard carefully rubbed a ball of cotton into the inky shoe polish. For the last two-hundred years, Kiwi was the best in the business and she would use no substitute or lesser imitation on this day. Sometimes, tradition was all they had in this rapidly changing galaxy. Then, she dipped the gooey polish into the water and began swirling it onto the heel of her left shoe. She put every ounce of honor and respect that she had into every whirl of the cotton ball. The Old Man deserved this much from her. When she could see her reflection on the heel she put the shoe down and leaned against her rack.

She sighed. This was so wrong. She picked up a letter that she had placed on the carpet. She was reluctant to read it again as if not reading it would make its words untrue. She forced her eyes to look upon the brief note.

* * *

TO: COMMANDER CLAIRE SHEPARD / XO / _SSV NORMANDY_ / SYSTEMS ALLIANCE NAVY

FROM: CNO SYSTEMS ALLIANCE NAVY

Proceed to the port in which _SSV Normandy_ may be and upon arrival, report to your immediate superior in command, if present, otherwise by message, for duty as commanding officer of _SSV Normandy__._

* * *

How did this happen? How did someone throw Captain David Anderson under a bus? He did _not_ deserve this. She tilted her head back and closed her eyes. Spectre or not, how the hell was she going to lead this hard-charging crew into the eye of the storm and stop Saren? She didn't have half the experience that he had.

The chime rang on her door and she popped her eyes back open. "Come in."

The door slid open and Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko stepped in. "I hope I'm not intruding, ma'am." He'd already had on his dress blues and my, did he look sharp.

She stood and her military bearing kicked in. The pulled the jacket of her dress blues down tight. A chain of command still existed and she knew she would have to look the part now. Captain Anderson was a legend in the fleet and the least she could do was to keep to the sense of tradition that he loved so much. "Not at all, lieutenant. Please, take a seat," she said, gesturing to a nearby chair.

"Thank you, ma'am." He sat and she could tell that there was a dark cloud over his head, just waiting to rain.

Shepard took a chair next to the desk. "Spit it out, lieutenant." She'd already run through this scenario a dozen times in her head. Key members of the crew would be ready to jump ship. How could she take over for the legendary Captain Anderson? Kaidan would just be the first to go. He kicked ass on Eden Prime. He'd be hard to replace and she'd soon be left with a goat rope. No matter what, she'd wish him well and suck it up like a good officer.

"Here's the thing, commander-"

She couldn't take it anymore. Why wait for the blow to fall? "Kaidan, I'll approve any transfer request that you have. You've earned any posting in the fleet."

"Whoa, wait a second, ma'am. What…are you talking about?"

Shepard took a breath and narrowed her eyes at him. "You're not here to ask for a transfer?" she asked slowly.

He shook his head vehemently, almost looking insulted. "No way, ma'am. I know that Captain Anderson got hosed, but I just talked to Chief Williams and we both wanted to express our confidence and support. It's not every day your skipper is a winner of the Star of Terra."

She widened her eyes. "Um, thank you. I appreciate your words." She really did. She shifted uncomfortably, wanting to change the subject. "You know, I made Ashley the First Shirt. She's the ranking NCO aboard now."

Kaidan nodded. "Yeah, she was pretty happy about it. She's a hard charger."

"She's good to go. She'll make Top one day if she keeps her nose clean." Then, she held up her shoes. "So, what do you think? Will they pass muster?"

He looked down his nose at the leather shoes. "I don't know, ma'am. I'd have to gig you if I were a DI," he said as he raised one eyebrow. Shepard burst out laughing and Kaidan blushed. "Sorry, commander, just joking with you."

"I know. Thank you. I think I'd forgotten how to laugh…and how to breathe." She waved the shoes in his face. "You know how many fucking gigs I got at N7 Selection? I was the latrine queen for weeks!" she said, putting the shoes down. "But damn if I wasn't high and tight by graduation," she added, brushing her hair back and outlining her body with her hands.

"Whew," he said, shaking his head, "you're hard core, commander. I was never dumb enough to try out for N7 Selection…umm, no offense, ma'am."

Shepard chuckled. She found that she liked smiling again. She missed it. "It was twenty-one weeks of miserable hell in which I questioned my sanity every minute of the those long-ass days. You know, after graduation, I took all of my sand and mud stained skivvies and burned them. I was beyond exhausted, but thank Binary Helix I have the best body genetics and cybernetics can offer."

The lieutenant blushed again. He seemed to be one of the sensitive types, but Shepard didn't doubt his fighting spirit. "Well, we better get going, commander. The ceremony will start soon."

She gently placed the shoes on the carpet, careful not to scuff them and waste all of that work. She slid her feet into the shoes and tied the laces tight. These shoes had been through a lot with her and they were like a couple of old dogs, faithful and comfortable. She reached over to the wall and retrieved her officer's saber, an old weapon in a silver scabbard that had been given to her by her father. It was an authentic 1796 Pattern Light Cavalry with a heavy tip to increase the force of the cut – a gruesome weapon in its day. But today, it was strictly ceremonial, a bygone weapon for an ancient tradition.

Well, the moment had arrived. She stood and then looked back to several pictures that held significance for her – a class picture from N7 Selection, a painting of the Scots Greys charging the French at Waterloo, a picture of a soldier running up the beach on D-Day at Normandy. A year from now, would she still be alive to reflect? Soon, Claire Shepard would take command of the _Normandy_ and lead them to whatever glory or doom awaited.

CODEX –

Corframs – A type of military dress shoe made of imitation leather.

REMF – Rear Echelon MF. Derogatory reference to some who makes decisions from way behind the lines.

CNO – Chief of Naval Operations

Goat Rope – Messed up situation. Aka Cluster F.

First Shirt – Informal term for the senior NCO of a unit.

Top – Informal term for the highest rank for an NCO.

Gig – Demerit.

DI – Drill Instructor.


	2. Chapter 2

**W/N - **Thanks so much for the feedback. I had to take a break from being musical. "Vir-mi-re...will call you, every night, every day..." I hope you enjoy the sense of tradition that goes along with entrusting a vessel of war to a commander. Some cursing.

Other malarkey - Kendo nidan test tomorrow. I think I'm pretty primed. My kata is solid and I've gotten to be a formidable sparring opponent.

**Shoes to Fill**

_**SSV Normandy – **_**Berthed at the Systems Alliance Docks – The Citadel**

**Commander Claire Shepard – Executive Officer, **_**SSV Normandy**_

Claire stepped through the hatch of her small cabin and was greeted by a dozen marines from the squad aboard the _Normandy._ Flanking the corridor, they were decked out in vivid blue uniforms trimmed in crimson and gold with ironed creases sharp enough to cut steel. Kaidan slid off to the side to join the formation. "XO on deck! Marines…ten-hut!"

The sound of heels clicking in unison rang out and Shepard took a sharp breath. This was unexpected. She paused for a moment, letting the energy of so many hard-charging marines fill her spirit. She swallowed down a lump in her throat as she made eye contact with Kaidan. He had this mischievous, shit-eating grin as if he'd pulled some fast one on her. Well, he had.

"As you were, marines," she said and, again as one, they widened their feet and bowed their heads. They were fucking tight and she damn proud to be their leader. She wiped her nose with the back of her sleeve and bit her lip. It wouldn't do for her marines to see her bawling in front of them. That would be an ate the hell up way for her to begin her command.

"At least you didn't call us soldiers, ma'am," a man's voice chimed out. It was Fredericks. "Most Navy types don't know the difference." That jarhead's mouth was going to get him in trouble one day, but today wasn't that day.

She stared him in the eye for a moment, just like she did in the Citadel Embassy lounge and he wilted the same way, wincing as if he were going to be smacked in the face by the righteous hand of God. Then, she softened, letting a smirk curl up her lips and she tousled his blond hair like she would a three year old. "You keep that fire in the belly, private. I need ass kickers like you."

Just like a loyal dog he bounced right back up. "Oorah, ma'am!" he said, exclaiming the marine's war cry. She could see the pride in his eyes and there was no way she was going to take that from him and woe to the fool who called them soldiers in front of the private.

Kaidan gestured down the corridor leading to the stairway up to the main deck. Shepard just caught a glimpse of the lieutenant giving Fredericks the 'eye.' And, of course, Jazz and Beau, Fredericks' partners in crime, were all over him. One kicked Fredericks' ass while the other patted him on the head.

"I got you an appointment with the Consort," one teased.

"She's an asari, who…helps people, remember," the other taunted.

Shepard shook her head with a chuckle. Damn jarheads….

Kaidan took up a position on her left, the proper place for a junior officer to be, and they fell into lockstep through the galley and up the stairs. For Shepard, each step became heavier than the last. Part of her thought that if she didn't show up, Captain Anderson would stay at the head of this party and she could go back to playing second fiddle. It was one thing to lead a squad into battle…or to launch a mad counterattack against the batarians on Elysium. It was quite another thing to command the most advanced Alliance warship on the most crucial operation to the galaxy. If given the choice, she just might have crawled back into bed and hid. The sight of Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams on the landing at the top of the stairs did wonders to bolster her resolve. There was a twinkle in Ash's eyes, but she was all marine, straight faced and squared away. Ash popped to attention at the approach of the procession and snapped out a smart salute, palm down, fingers to the temple.

Shepard returned the salute and Ash brought her hand down into a loose fist, knuckles at the seam of the pocket. The Chief turned a sharp, about face and opened the hatch into the CIC. "XO on deck!" Ash shouted into the room.

The chorus of men and women rising from their seats met Shepard and she could see all eyes upon her. The crew of the _Normandy_ stood, ramrod straight, chests out, dressed in pristine white. Even Joker stood on creaky legs, holding up Captain Anderson's flag, known as a pennant. Shepard had to pause for a moment and tug on her collar. Kaidan stepped in front of her and then off to one side. In a smooth motion, he drew his officer's saber and held the guard up to his lips. He then turned to Captain Anderson, who stood up on the CIC platform.

"All hands are at quarters, sir!"

Shepard met the Captain's eyes. There was so much written in that glance – pain, regret, remorse, but also pride. Anderson could always say so much with just a look. The Captain had been like a father to her. It was almost as if he were giving her away at her wedding now. They let their glances linger for a few more seconds, each savoring the moment. There was still so much to say…so much she needed to learn from him. She wanted him to say how much of a farce this was and how this was all politics, but she knew he was too much of a professional. He would never dream of tainting her first command like that.

"Thank you, lieutenant. At ease."

Kaidan brought the saber down in a wide arc to his right thigh. He then sheathed the weapons slowly and with great reverence and the crew took their seats.

Captain Anderson took a few breaths and furrowed his brows as if thinking deeply. "I…I had a long speech written up," he began slowly in his rich, baritone voice. He took a piece of parchment paper out of his pocket and crumpled it up. "But this ceremony is not for me. This ceremony is for Staff Commander Claire Shepard and the brave crew of the _Normandy._ It has been my greatest honor to command you and now I gladly step aside. There is no doubt," he said, his voice just beginning to crack, "there is no doubt in my heart that you will make humanity shine."

An unwelcome tear rolled down Shepard's cheek. Fuck. How the hell was she going to fill that man's shoes? In what galaxy could that even be possible?

Lieutenant Commander Colin Pressley stood. "Attention to orders!" he shouted, bringing everyone back to their feet.

Claire drew her ancient saber and held it to her lips as the Old Man came down the steps and approached her. He drew his own saber, the sound of metal grating on metal filling the otherwise silent room. With a click of his heels, he brought the weapon up to his lips and then lowered it ever so slowly to his right thigh. Shepard followed suit and then stood to his left. They began a reverent tour of the crew, stopping to acknowledge each member, finally coming to rest in front of the marines.

Anderson nodded to Kaidan and Ash. "You take good care of the commander."

"We could do nothing less, sir," Kaidan said in return.

The inspection was complete. Captain Anderson now turned to Shepard. "Claire," he said with paternal warmth. "I am entrusting you with the finest ship and crew in the Alliance. You care for them like a mama bear would her cubs. You treat them with the respect and honor that they deserve."

"You have my word, sir."

He then faced the audience and took a deep breath. "I, Captain David Anderson, Systems Alliance Navy, do hereby accept the position as Military Attache to the Human Embassy on the Citadel." He left-faced back to Shepard. "Ma'am, I am ready to be relieved."

Shepard turned to the crew. It felt like her mouth was full of cotton, but she forced out the words. "I, Staff Commander Claire Shepard, do hereby accept the position as Commanding Officer, _SRV Normandy._" They each brought their sabers up to salute, lowering them with steady hands as Joker lowered the Captain's pennant.

Shepard wanted to leap into the Captain's arms…embrace him, show him her undying loyalty. He had taken huge risks to bring her aboard and give her this chance and it blew up in his face. How could she ever repay that?

"I relieve you, sir."

But instead of giving him any comfort or solace, she put the toe of her left shoe behind the heel of her right and spun about, turning her back on him. It was an odd feeling, but her feet felt ever so tiny within some very big shoes.

CODEX –

Ate the hell up – F'd up.


End file.
